I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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