haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i believe in u and ur pee
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
