The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
