I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
