make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
did i just pee glitter
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
