I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she looked like the before picture.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
