Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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