Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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