Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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