I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
