Buhtt sex?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
