Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
