i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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