But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
