I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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