I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
