I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
