Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need water and some morals
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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