That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
