a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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