I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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