im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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