DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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