I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
