We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
