You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
