i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
