Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
