well you can't waste a boner
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
