What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I understand Curling. That high.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
