well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
