My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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