yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
