Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
