Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
