I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
