I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
