How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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