You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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