guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
