Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
