his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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