no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
