I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You ate ashes out of my bong
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
