dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
