It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
