his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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