SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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