some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
