i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
