It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
