You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he thought i was a dude.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
