I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
