he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
